Teaching Children About Grandparents Who Have Passed Away

My father-in-law passed away two years ago. At the time, someone told me he felt bad for our kids because they would never remember my father-in-law. He was sad because my father-in-law was a wonderful man and amazing with kids.

Yes, my six-month-old and my not-yet-born child would not remember him, but I was bound and determined to ensure my then four-year-old did.

Reflecting two years later, my oldest does certainly remember her Grandpa. When my husband walked in wearing his father’s leather jacket and hat the other day, my daughter looked up and exclaimed, “Wow! You look just like Grandpa.” My heart warmed. She does remember.

Below are things we did and keep doing to keep his memory alive for her.

First, she loved visiting him at the farm. So, when we pass horses and cows on the road, we talk about how he had a horse and cows and how she would help him feed them. And then we name the horses and cows we see and what we think Grandpa would have named them.

She also caught her first fish with him. It was this small little fish, but she was so proud of herself. We talk about that day with her and show her photos, and include that photo on the photo wall in our house, just like photos with all her other grandparents.

We started a garden with her. She knows Grandpa loved to garden, so she is keeping up with the flowers she’s to grow and maintain, and she’s building out her own garden of vegetables and fruits. And, within that garden, we are placing story stones that remind her of cool things she is doing herself and cool things she has done, with Grandpa and others.

Finally, we tell her stories. Stories of how smart he was. Stories of how he started harvesting bees for honey (which she loved since she’s in the Busy Bees class this year). Stories of how often he read (which inspired her to have “read everyday” as her new year’s resolution). Stories she loves and retells to others.

So if you’re worried your child won’t remember an amazing grandparent who is no longer here, try rebuilding a memory they had or tell stories of things they did. Kids are sponges, and they will love every minute.