Helping Kids Through Grief: What Parents and Caregivers Need to Know
Grief is tough for anyone, but it can be especially confusing for kids.
If you’re a parent or caregiver trying to help a child cope with loss, it can be hard to know what to say or do. Here’s a quick guide to understanding how children grieve and how you can support them through it.
How Kids Grieve at Different Ages
Kids experience grief differently depending on how old they are:
Toddlers (2-5 years) may not fully understand what death means, but they can pick up on the sadness around them. They might act younger than usual, like wanting to be held more often.
Children (6-12 years) get that death is permanent, but they might have trouble expressing what they’re feeling. They could act out, feel guilty, or think they caused the loss.
Teens (13-18 years) understand loss in a deeper way, but they might struggle with big emotions. They may pull away from others or express anger, sadness, or even confusion about their changing identity.
What Grieving Kids Might Do
When kids are grieving, you might notice changes like:
Acting more irritable or needing extra comfort
Complaining of physical symptoms like stomachaches or trouble sleeping
Becoming withdrawn, or seeking more attention from others
Feeling guilty or confused about the situation
Talking to Kids About Death
It’s important to be honest with kids about what’s happening:
Keep it simple: Use age-appropriate language and avoid saying things like “they went to sleep” or “passed away” — this can confuse younger kids.
Encourage them to express themselves: Whether it’s talking, drawing, or writing, give your child different ways to show what they’re feeling.
Answer questions: Kids may ask the same things over and over, and that’s totally normal. Just answer them as clearly and calmly as you can.
Supporting Kids Through Their Grief
Here’s how you can help your child through this tough time:
Create a safe space: Let them know it’s okay to feel however they feel. Reassure them that no emotion is “wrong.”
Stick to routines: Keeping things like school, meals, and bedtime the same can help provide a sense of stability.
Show them it’s okay to grieve: Kids watch adults closely. If you take care of your emotions in a healthy way, they’ll learn from that.
Ways to Remember and Honor Loved Ones
Kids might feel comforted by activities to remember their loved one, like making a memory box, drawing pictures, or planting a tree in honor of the person who’s passed.
When to Ask for Extra Help
If your child seems really overwhelmed or is struggling with depression or anxiety, it’s a good idea to reach out to a counselor or therapist who specializes in grief.
Grief is a journey, and kids will go through it in their own way. With patience, honesty, and a lot of love, you can help them find their way through the tough parts and start to heal in their own time.